{There, there baby}

{There, there baby}

it's just text book stuff, it's in the ABC's of growing up.

This song is the song I based my blog off of...for many reasons. Tonight I realized I haven't blogged in a while. I think writers call it writers block. I would never call myself a writer...I'm awful! So, I will call it...life.

I'm realizing that this age (26) must be the age (for me at least) that I am realizing what life is really all about. I married at 22. I was ready. I knew. We knew we wanted babies and waited only 3 years.

When Peyton was born she became my entire life. I put her above and before everyone and everything. I do everything with her in the front of my mind and the center of my heart. Besides the random naughty word out of my mouth I try to lead my example.

I became a mama. My favorite and best role yet. It hasn't been until she came along that life seems different than before.

I have always been scared of certain things...water, sharks, snakes, bears...nothing weird....a lot of people fear these things! Since P, I fear a lot more...bigger things....things I can't control.

Tonight I got a picture message on my cell phone. I was going to go to bed...and then I saw it...the picture. My client, my friend had brain surgery.

Now I don't get how people don't believe in God. She went to the doctor for a continuous ear ache. They looked and looked and decided to do a cat scan....just to be safe.

There it was....nothing to do with her ear...but if the front of her brain....was an aneurysm.

The aneurysm that had nothing to do with the ear. The ear that has nothing wrong with. The ear that doesn't hurt near as bad as it was.

Luck?

NO!

GOD!

She came in Tuesday for a nice trim and wax before she headed into the OR....even though they told her no hair cut! She has a mind of her own that woman! She told me they were going to shave her head....the front only....showing me from start to finish where the incision would be...showing me where they would shave her head.

My eyes filled with tears because I was afraid.

She was not.

So tonight when I see the picture...I cry again...because Life sometimes just scares me.

My dear friend who is brave beyond words....writes in her blog about the love and loss of her husband. I read her blog....and I get sad, scared, and can't help but think WHY? I don't get a lot of things in life. I think I try to understand things too much and end up sick from worry. I think most people try to understand these things by trying to imagine it happening to them, to their families, and for some reason I can't bring myself to do that.

I'm too scared.

I think of my two friends tonight...who are so brave, so inspiring, so strong....who don't even know that they are....to so many of us.

To me.

Your inspiring me to be strong, to stop worrying, to enjoy now, and to just BE. Val's words...."let's just be"....have been going through my head over and over and over. I am going to work on just being.....