A shopping frenzi...

{A shopping frenzi}

I honestly KNOW I could be a professional shopper. I see things that scream people's names.

 Lately these item's scream

PEYTON, PEYTON, PEYTON!

Like these little shorties. They came tonight and Im thinking why didn't I ask her to make some matching adult ones??

Or how about this little number below...

Peyton will wear this the the rehersal dinner at the StJohn wedding in April. She will also be wearing a fairy cute flower girl outfit that when I have pictures of I will post.

Speaking of flower girl....how about Peyton in this little number?

This is her flower girl dress for the Linck wedding in July. Already working it...lets just hope she follows Tiff's directions the day of....she did well when Tiff said "put your arms up P".

And to Tiff's rehersal dinner???

this viloet little number.

And with all this summer talk.....

You will be seeing many pic's of P rocking this little number all summer long.

And sadly her trademark pink polkadot sun hat is too small....so to protect that blonde little head of hers with be the little number above. Which im loving!!!

Until the next shopping spree.....



Good Intentions.

{Good Intentions}

Weeks ago I decided I wanted to do something for Val because I felt helpless. I came up with this grand idea to do a raffle. I have had so many people writing me emails asking how can we help, what can we do for your friend.....so I thought the raffle would be great.

I made a few calls and it seemed so easy! People offering to help right and left. To give you an idea of what people have offered to donate:

2 VIP movie theatre passes with over 50 passes on each card.

Acupuncture treatments.

A trip for 2 to Vegas.

Photography sessions.

A granite cutting board.

2 guided fly fishing trips.

Bronco gear.

and a few others.

I thought how simple...gather the donations...sell raffle tickets...deposit into a fund for Val.

Sounds simple right?

WRONG

I talked to a few people who do fundraising for a living and was warned that this could be illegal? What? Seriously?

After calling our accountant and talking to a dear friend who has been in my shoes (who started a non profit of her own) knew all to well what I could be getting myself and Val into.

TROUBLE.

Since I do NOT have a non profit organization behind this supporting it and dealing with all the details... I can not do a raffle to help my friend.

Thankfully I have yet to accept any of the prize donations and had my plan only in my head and on my notebook.

I had no idea about these things. I didn't know. I honestly to goodness thought that I could pull this off and surprise my friend with not only the money we raised but the comfort of knowing so many people care about her and he chickens and want to support them in any way that they can.

So, Monday I will call all the people who so generously offered prizes and say thanks but no thanks.

I feel like a dog with a tail between my legs. 

Helpless.

Stupid for not researching before I got so excited.

Sick about it really.

I talked to my dear friend Tisa on the phone last night and she said "Shelby what are you so ashamed of...you tried, you didn't know, how could you know? You had all the intent and goodness in your heart it's just not do able, you didn't know. Don't be mad at your self, be proud that you tried, that you have such a caring heart, and DO what you can DO".

So the ONLY reason I'm admitting that I failed at something, is because there is something we CAN all do.

I have gotten literally a dozen emails in the last week from mostly women and surprisingly a few men. The emails are so kind so thoughtful. Telling me how they follow Val's blog, mostly cry, feel awful, but want to help her. How can we help......

Well here are a few ways we can all help my sweet sweet Val.

Their is the auction that her friend is doing (she teamed up with a non profit org) that starts tomorrow!!! Amazing things to bid on....I know I will be in trouble if I win....but I found a few things I think I HAVE to bid on!!

There is also a fund set up at Wells Fargo Bank.

Wayne Koop Charitable Fund

You can go to any Wells Fargo Bank in any state and make a donation.

Ask for a personal banker to find the account under Valerie Koop and your donation will be deposited directly to her and her chickens.

I know so many of you wanted to help me and I thank you from the bottom of my broken heart. I wanted to do this more than you will ever know! I know she has touched your hearts as much as she has mine...so lets support her...and lift her up...whatever way we can.

Wells Fargo Bank

Wayne Koop Charitable Fund

Valerie Koop

Just around the corner.

{just around the corner}

Jami's auction for Val is coming up. Monday. So many GREAT items to bid on. Check it out!

http://www.anopenfield.com/

The headbands remind me of Val, she wears them a lot! All the photographers that came together..to support one of their own. Her dear friend Denise over at Matilda Jane Clothing..... http://matildajaneblog.com/to-dos/

Something about the MJC...besides the fact that it's super cute clothing... I think I'm more in love with the generosity, love, and support they have for their friend, my friend.  There also auctioning these bamboletta dolls. I know those dolls will be something else...because let me tell you something...

I had this grand plan...to get a friends daughter one for her birthday...went to the site...everything SOLD OUT..so I write a little message...how do I order? I want.....

the response.....good luck. I find out I have to jump online at exact 7 pm, literally find the doll I want in seconds, put it in my cart, and maybe I would be one of the lucky 15 a week that gets to buy.  I wasn't lucky...but it was a rush....weird...I know. Insane too! Literally SECONDS 15 at most......so she, the lady who makes these dolls...donated six. They are very coveted dolls I'm telling you!!

This auction is simply amazing, the prizes, the work put into it, the people behind it, and mostly the woman it's all for.

Happy Bidding!

Finding A way Back

{Finding A Way Back}

I am petrified of getting online.

I avoid the news. Blogs. Facebook.

The TV stays off.

I avoid eye contact at the store.

Dread talking to well-meaning friends because I seize up from anxiety.

I avoid my Mom.

I talk to my sister because she understands when I need to up and leave. Or need her to.

The stimulation of other people send me straight to my room to hide.

I am a mess. A complicated, sad, anxious mess.

But.

I am coming out of the dark fog of death, because while it feels like I died, I know I did not.

And I have two chickens that have lost a father and they do not need to lose their mother, too.

I get all of this.

So I do things like face down a “to do” list one item at a time.

Shop for health insurance.

Look for a job.

Meet with a financial planner who tells me in not so many words that looking for a job should be at the top of my list if I am not into taking risks.

Which, I am not into taking risks, by the way.

I feed the kids cheetos for breakfast and yogurt for lunch and I hope they don’t ask for dinner.

But I have a freezer full of food in case they do, it’s just the energy to plan for it that seems to be tough.

A friend reminds me to breathe constantly because I hold my breath without realizing it. Panic attack always on the verge, rising in my throat.

This is what waking up to reality looks like when you lose your partner. The father to your children. The provider. The ROCK.

So.

I am now all of those things.

And I know I can do it.

I am just trying hard to figure out HOW.

While I am busy feeling sorry for myself, my heart telling my head there was NO WAY TO PREPARE FOR THIS.

My head finally getting it that my heart is right…plus it yells louder. And my heart seems to win every time. Always has.

So, while I am busy with being paralyzed and panicked, my dear friend Jami has been busy putting together an auction to help me and the kids. I believe it is to help me with cooking healthy (read: not Cheetos for breakfast), help me with household maintenance, and helping me find the best resources for the kids so that I don’t screw their lives up while I am busy self destructing. (Camp Erin).

The auction items floor me. I would be in so much trouble if I could bid! The one and only Matilda Jane Company, very best photographers in the industry, coveted, custom Bamboletta dolls, the most amazing goodies imaginable … all up for auction.

Please click here to read more.

I am humbled, freaked out, beside myself, crazy grateful, and most of all … appreciative to have such an amazing circle of women to call friends.

Even if you don’t need anything maybe you could repost this on your blog/facebook so that someone else who might need or want something finds it…?

I thank you from the bottom of my dysfunctional heart for loving me. For loving my kids. For being there as I try to find my way back again.

XOXO.
Valerie Koop.

Once there was a GIRL. With a blog.  You know the kind.  The kind with the pretty pictures and the pretty words. The kind that you put on your RSS feed so you don’t miss out on the next post. The kind that lets you in to her world and sucks you in so far you feel like you know her.  Yes, you know her.  You know her because she’s in every one of us.   She’s your mother and your sister.  She’s your silver and your gold.

She’s the loyal wife, the doting mama, and on her lucky days, she’s an artist.  Capturing details, memories and moments to be treasured.

She’s a fellow photographer.

Well today, this girl is none of these things.  Today she is a widow.  Today she pulls her hair back into that familiar ponytail, fingers wrapped around that ever present cup of coffee, and stares in the direction of where he used to sit.  Where he used to sit, all day, every day, fighting a losing battle called cancer.  Yes, you know her, even if you don’t really know her.

Her name is Valerie Koop.

And she could be any one of us.

This is not a story of pity, but a story of courage and strength.

A story of friendship and community that binds us all.

So many amazing souls wanting to reach out, but not knowing how.

Well, here’s how.

We’d like to welcome you to:

House of Koop

Starting February 28th

House of Koop will be open via Hyena Cart

(an online auction.)

Please stop by and visit one of the many “rooms” in this home.

Rooms filled with:

Custom Bamboletta’s

Fun in the kitchen

Matilda Jane Parties

•A styled party for 5 little ladies,

a box of Matilda Jane goodness delivered to your door,

and an amazing photographer to document

the joy and love about to take place.

(Stay tuned for more details)

Amazing Photography resources

•Peekaboo workshop seat

•Worldwide Blue Lily Family session

•Untamed Heart Photography Mentoring

•Bloom online workshop seat plus, two-1 year forum memberships

•Skye Harkwick workshop workbook w/ posing guide

•An unbelievable selection of actions, marketing tools and resources

•Hair pretties

(and I mean the most spectacular kind)

•Beautiful, custom art prints

A TRIP for 2 to 435

(the heart and soul of Matilda Jane.)

AND SO MUCH MORE!!

The proceeds will go to a company that will help give her support by way of

Nutritious meals, childcare, grocery shopping, household chores and SO much more.

They can do all the things we wish we could do, but can’t.

Bereavement counseling for her and her “chickens” and life coaching to help her get on her feet again.

Through the support of Camp Erin, her children will be well cared for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please join us in helping a friend in need of support and encouragement.

When I imagine myself in her shoes, my heart aches and the emptiness takes over.

I can only imagine what the reality feels like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We’ll see you on February 28th

or

feel free to make a donation by clicking on the icon below.


<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post">

If you would like to donate any services or items, please contact me at:

Jami.davis@mac.com

Stay tuned for a link to the auction site once it is open.

Much Love.

Sugar and Spice

{Sugar and Spice}

This weekend was full of of everything girly.

I hosted a party for Matilda Jane Clothing company. They have the most amazing little girl clothing!

I thought of the saying "sugar and spice and everything nice" and knew I had to make this about the kids.

The basement is Peyton's. Her toy room, her place to have fun,  be creative...it was the perfect location. Of coarse I had to hide many toys because she has TOO many! I cleaned it up threw a table down there and filled it with treats. Candy galore. The yummiest mini cup cakes. Meat, cheese, peppers, and cracker. Dips. The best sparkling wine (that was for the mama's)lemonades, and water.

I had my plan. My plan was prepared at least a week before the party. I wonder sometimes why I plan....because it never goes according.

The first little girl walked in with her mama (who helped me every step of the way thanks so much Melissa) Bella. I learned a bit about her and her name fits her perfectly. Beautiful inside and out. A little girl who has done more charity work and acts of kindness than most adults I know! She was excited about all her friends coming to the party.

When the friends came in it was all things girly. They got treats.....candy.... I said to them " hey girls...I put some veggies out here and nobody touched them" Bella's response..."well why did you put candy on the table"? LOL....the better question is why did I put veggies on the table? They sat in a circle...snacking, giggling, looking cute as ever!!! I found myself standing there....watching....thinking about Peyton being that age. 

6

I think they were mostly all between 6 and 8.

They seemed so much older. So much personality, sass, style, opinions.

One girl asked me "how old is your daughter"? I replied "she will be two in April". she said "what? I thought she was in college". I said "WHAT? Do I look old enough to have a daughter in college"? "YES you look as old as my mom...she's 31".

LOL

I remember when I thought 31 was old.

So funny. Kids are so honest so pure.

SO anyway....the party. It was fun. The kids played and tried on clothing. Us mom's chatted, ate a little, talked about how GOOD the sparkling wine was!

I made them all try a fruit dip I made. It's the best and nobody touched it! I tried bribing these 6 years olds...."if you try it and DON'T like it, I will give you each a dollar". Their response before even trying "I don't like it hehehehhe". Did I really think they were that naive? I KNEW they would like it....I had ZERO dollars upstairs! I guess that's why people label their snacks. Everyone thought it was peanut, honey something.

Butterscotch Fruit Dip

1 8 oz cream cheese

1 small bag butterscotch chips

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup white sugar

1 tsp vanilla

Mix well!

The weekend ended and Matilda Jane has been introduced to Casper Wyoming.

Matilda Jane who has amazingly cute clothing, a company that is based on great values, and has amazing women behind the brand. I can't decide what I like more...the clothing....or the acts of kindness the woman behind the brand does for so many people.

Follow their blog.....you will know what I mean.

I ended my weekend spending all day with my Sweet P.

Just us two.

As P says "just me and you me and you".

Snuggling lots, Toys Story 3 in the background all day, and playing in the toy room. Today was what most of my day's consist of and I love every minute of it.

And everything nice. That's what little girls are made of.

{There, there baby}

{There, there baby}

it's just text book stuff, it's in the ABC's of growing up.

This song is the song I based my blog off of...for many reasons. Tonight I realized I haven't blogged in a while. I think writers call it writers block. I would never call myself a writer...I'm awful! So, I will call it...life.

I'm realizing that this age (26) must be the age (for me at least) that I am realizing what life is really all about. I married at 22. I was ready. I knew. We knew we wanted babies and waited only 3 years.

When Peyton was born she became my entire life. I put her above and before everyone and everything. I do everything with her in the front of my mind and the center of my heart. Besides the random naughty word out of my mouth I try to lead my example.

I became a mama. My favorite and best role yet. It hasn't been until she came along that life seems different than before.

I have always been scared of certain things...water, sharks, snakes, bears...nothing weird....a lot of people fear these things! Since P, I fear a lot more...bigger things....things I can't control.

Tonight I got a picture message on my cell phone. I was going to go to bed...and then I saw it...the picture. My client, my friend had brain surgery.

Now I don't get how people don't believe in God. She went to the doctor for a continuous ear ache. They looked and looked and decided to do a cat scan....just to be safe.

There it was....nothing to do with her ear...but if the front of her brain....was an aneurysm.

The aneurysm that had nothing to do with the ear. The ear that has nothing wrong with. The ear that doesn't hurt near as bad as it was.

Luck?

NO!

GOD!

She came in Tuesday for a nice trim and wax before she headed into the OR....even though they told her no hair cut! She has a mind of her own that woman! She told me they were going to shave her head....the front only....showing me from start to finish where the incision would be...showing me where they would shave her head.

My eyes filled with tears because I was afraid.

She was not.

So tonight when I see the picture...I cry again...because Life sometimes just scares me.

My dear friend who is brave beyond words....writes in her blog about the love and loss of her husband. I read her blog....and I get sad, scared, and can't help but think WHY? I don't get a lot of things in life. I think I try to understand things too much and end up sick from worry. I think most people try to understand these things by trying to imagine it happening to them, to their families, and for some reason I can't bring myself to do that.

I'm too scared.

I think of my two friends tonight...who are so brave, so inspiring, so strong....who don't even know that they are....to so many of us.

To me.

Your inspiring me to be strong, to stop worrying, to enjoy now, and to just BE. Val's words...."let's just be"....have been going through my head over and over and over. I am going to work on just being.....

 

{2.14}

{2.14}

Got woken up by the sweetest P.

She said..."happy balentine day mama".

That was it...my day was made.

Not knowing my hubs was going to be home I had to do some last minute date planning after working all day!!

If you know me at all you know I'm a "planner".

So I ordered in for P, Mark, and I. Our favorite...Boscos.

We all shared an order of chicken mushroom Alfredo and some salads. P has the same favorite as mom and dad....I'm thinking it won't be long till one order isn't enough.

We all ate...then P and I took a hot bubble bath.

Sounds great right?

Well...let me tell you!

Thank the Lord I stepped in first....because I literally BURNT my foot! I screamed so loud Mark came running in.....I paid no attention to the steam rising from below me....ouch!

Fixed that problem.

Ah, soaking with my P in a nice warm bubble bath now.....

until......

Mark spills his HOT coffee on me while reaching for P.

To make it all better he throws a cup of ice cold water 5 seconds after....he is SUCH a romantic isn't he??

Good thing he had sent flowers earlier in the day....not even a little scolding could ruin my mood.

P loved all her treats but I think she likes to give more than receive....just like me.

The two roses in the bouquet that are whitish and off colored were my favorite. I came home to this balloon while explaining how two of the roses were sooo pretty. Mark said...."ya those two Peyton picked out for you". She has great taste!!

So

2.14.11

Happy Valentines Day.

To my family who I shared a not so romantic evening with..but it was perfect.

To my friends who I love and hope to show that to every day of the year.

Till next Valentine's Day....

XOXO